The ER Department was crazy. Not in the psychological
sense, per se, but John Carter decided to stage a walk-out
with a large portion of my staff following him out. His
reason being: safety & security concerns. However, there
were safety concerns of a different sort in here. Only
myself, Dr. Susan Lewis, the new med student Erin Harkins,
and a small handful of nurses were left to handle ten
semi-critical to critical patients along with about a dozen
patients in the waiting area. That, in my books, was an
unsafe situation. If any of these patients were to die while
the walkout continued, it would not be only my
responsibility as Chief of Emergency Medicine, but also that
of the physicians and nurses in charge of those patients.
I understood his concerns. I'd been working like crazy
for the last two years with the hospital corporation and the
security company to provide more security in the emergency
department. I know that he feels this deeply, particularly
in light of his assault and Lucy's death two years ago. So
do I. I really liked Lucy and I felt she could do so much
with her life, not only in medicine but with her life in
general. He didn't know that it was Romano and I who cleaned
her up after she died, or that I spent the most of that
night vomiting just from the sheer violence of the
situation. I can't forget the blood - so much. Too much.
Lucy knew she was dying and by the time we knew that a
pulmonary embolus had occurred, no amount of anti-embolic
meds would have worked. I cried so much that night. I'd also
been sickened when Mark had been attacked in our own
bathroom years previous.
Yes, the ER has had its share of violent attacks.
However, there was only so much I could do. At the moment, I
was doing two jobs, since Romano was on light duty as Chief
of Staff until he recovered from his injury. It's not like I
asked for it. I'd made pleas to the hospital board for
funding for security for the emergency department, but I was
being stalled. The state government had yet again slashed
the hospital department's operating budget. It didn't help
that we were operating at almost 150% since two other area
hospitals had closed due to budget cuts & reductions. John
Carter was not making my job any easier. I actually liked
him and thought he had reasonable leadership potential. This
job walkout was just not the way to go about doing it.
I just stuck my head into the women's washroom for the
third time since I got here this morning, hoping to get a
quick break from the madness. But it wasn't long before I
found myself in one of the stalls bent over the porcelain
tank, brought up mostly bile - since I was sure I had
nothing resembling food left in there. I'm sure that I'm
pregnant. And the only appointment I could get with my
gynecologist was cancelled. Sandy and I had talked about
that for weeks. At first it was a bone of contention with
her - not of planning a pregnancy itself, that was pretty
much a go, she was excited. Her concern was that it would be
too hard on me. Carrying a child to term and the effects on
my hip. On more than one occasion, she'd had to massage the
cramps out of my back, hip and legs after a difficult shift.
And there'd been more than one occasion that I thanked
whatever gods are out there that she didn't up and leave -
permanently, several months ago. I don't think I could have
gone through that again. When we were first dating it took a
while before I stopped comparing her with Kim Legaspi, my
first female partner. I wasn't entirely sure what got into
me when I asked Sandy out that first time. But I was glad
she accepted. It wasn't like we hadn't had our rough spots,
we had. And things had been going quite good since the
spring. I fell in love - something I didn't think would
happen again.
I thought about having kids before, several times
actually. I'd always been good with children. Perhaps
because of their innocence and desire to learn, their
willingness to accept things, more so than adults. That
desire for children culminated more in the past year.
Perhaps it was seeing Mark and Elizabeth with their young
daughter, Ella. Perhaps finally learning that my birth
mother did not wish to have any contact strengthened a
resolve to have a child of my own. But perhaps more telling
was something Mark said to me on his last shift - 'Don't let
work become your life, Kerry.' I'd gone home that night and
curled up on the couch and cried. I was still in that same
position when Sandy got home after her shift. And she held
me and let me cry - again. She gently carried me up to our
room and lay me on the bed. Silently we had gone through our
nightly ablutions and climbed into bed. Sandy curled up
behind me, and again held me. When Mark died, Sandy became
an anchor of support for me, especially since work had
become more and more strained. There were more than a few
nights when I thought I'd lost everyone I'd ever loved. And
Sandy just held me. Never once asking for anything more than
I could give. I never thought I would miss Mark as much as I
did. For all our disagreements in the last couple years, we
had been colleagues, and perhaps even friends. During the
summer time, we discussed having children. How we would do
it, what planning we had to do, sperm donor clinics, and in
vitro fertilization. We'd finally come to the agreement that
I would carry the child, and she would donate the egg.
So, five and a half weeks later, there I was, stuck in a
stall with morning sickness - never mind that it was
1600hrs. Whoever created that moniker, must either have not
ever been pregnant, or had such an easy pregnancy that they
were never sick morning, noon and night. Once the current
set of heaves had passed, I pressed my head against the
coolness of the stall walls. Gradually, I pick my crutch off
the floor where it had fallen when the first of the nausea
hit. The bathroom door opened and I could hear someone
enter. I wished I could have stayed there in the stall and
none would be the wiser, but the person had obviously come
to look for me.
"Kerry, I need a hand. There's a MVA coming in, in a few
minutes. Three casualties. One male with multiple head lacs
and dislocated shoulder with possible abdominal injury, a
female with broken ribs and possible pneumothorax, and a 10
month old child, non injured," Dr. Lewis called out. After
not hearing anything for a moment, Susan inquired, "Kerry,
are you all right?"
"Not particularly." I really loathed having to ask for
assistance from my staff - at least with personal matters
but that time, either I got assistance standing up - hoping
that the nausea didn't make a repeat performance - or she
wouldn't get a hand with the trauma. "I need a hand to stand
up." I got a proper hold on the crutch, and with Susan's
help managed to stand. After a few moments with no nausea, I
nodded and walk over to the sink to splash some water on my
face. I'd have to wait until I got to my locker to brush my
teeth.
"Do you need a few more minutes?" Susan asked with her
head slightly cocked to the side.
"Thanks, but I'm coming now." I settled my lab coat
around me and headed out after Susan. "Have Dr. Corday come
down for a surgical consult on the two injured. I want to
know what we're in for. Also, what nurses are still in
here?"
"Malik, Chuny, Yosh, Kathy, and Haleh."
"Thanks."
Susan and I walked to the ambulance bay awaiting the
arrival of our MVA patients. There were now four doctors out
there and one med student and five RNs. Frustrating. I
wished that I could get John to understand that the money
for increased security had to come from somewhere - it
didn't just exist ready to pull whenever it's needed.
However, there wasn't much time to ruminate about the
situation as the ambulance bus pulled up.
"What have we got here?" I asked.
Doris pulled out one stretcher first, with her partner
bringing out the second after. "MVA. 33 year old male with
mild head lacerations, likely dislocated shoulder and
abdominal tenderness right upper quadrant. BP 130/90, Pulse
98, Resp 20. 28 year old female with at least a couple
broken ribs and right pneumothorax. Left lung resp at 24
with increasing pain. O2 at 3L. BP 110/70, Pulse 88. And 10
month old daughter with slight redness where harness crossed
over chest but not giving any sign of being sore - she was
well belted into car seat."
I sighed a little with relief that the child was not
injured any worse. That was always the hardest - when
children were injured.
As the stretchers made their way into the ER and into
Trauma 1, I hadn't seen the porters bringing another patient
down the hallway. Apparently they hadn't seen me either, so
I got pinned between the two for a brief moment. But it was
enough to cause me to go down to the floor in agony. The
crutch slid back against a supply cart and I wasn't sure but
my head may have hit the floor when I landed. *Damnit!*
As soon as the stretchers were into the Trauma room and
Susan began working on the patients, two nurses in the ER
had gotten me up onto a stretcher, despite my assurance that
I would have been fine. It was a lie, but one I wanted to
hold on to. My right hip hurt like hell, pelvic bones badly
jarred, and abdomen was quite sore. Before I knew what had
happened, Robert Romano had appeared out of nowhere and
assessed me. If there had ever been a time to make an
inappropriate comment it would have been then, but I didn't
even have it in me to do that. I winced as he ran his good
hand up my right hip and over the pelvic bones.
"Kerry, what have we got here?"
"I'm hurting like hell, Robert. But I'll be fine. I just
need to stay put. Need some heat. And an ultrasound."
"No x-ray?"
"No. I can't."
"And why not, Kerry. Your pelvis may well have broken."
"I'm pregnant, Robert."
"Great, a lesbian with a turkey baster, just what the
world needs."
"Save the smart-ass remarks. I don't need them at the
moment. And besides, they need some direction in Trauma 1 &
2. Get some of your medical staff down here to help."
"Where's Carter, Kovac and the rest of your staff?"
"Lewis is in Trauma 1. And one of our med students is in
with her. Carter's staged a walkout since he's pissed at
having decreased security measures in the ER, and half my
staff are out there."
"You should fire the lot of them, Carter in particular."
"I can't afford to lose any more doctors; we're short on
staff as it is. But I will make sure that he's disciplined.
Now go."
Romano, with charts in hand, spun towards the trauma
rooms. Meanwhile I lay on that damned stretcher while Haleh
brought me a hot pack and placed it against my hip. I knew I
wasn't going to be much use in my own ER, so I got Haleh to
put me in one of the observation rooms and bring me in some
charts and paperwork. If I could concentrate on it, it would
be a miracle but I was going to try anyway. Maybe I could
find a way to squeeze some more funds out of the ER
operations budget for increased security. I also got Haleh
to bring me in some Ibuprofen for the pain.
After half an hour of unsuccessfully trying to
concentrate on charts, I decided that I could as much sit at
home and do nothing as I could here. Now if only I could get
someone in here to run the ultrasound so I can get out of
here. I'd do it myself, except the ultrasound machine is in
the next room, I was sore as hell and would probably land on
my rear end. Not exactly something that would look good for
the Chief of Emergency Medicine in her own department.
Thankfully, Lydia walked by the room and I managed to get
her attention.
"Lydia, could you see if there's anyone available to take
an ultrasound on my pelvis - or at least bring in the
machine. I'd like to get out of here. I'm not going to be
much help around here anyway. I can see about straightening
out the security concerns as easily enough from home."
"Dr. Weaver, is there anyone going to be home to help
you?"
"Lydia, I'm a doctor, I can handle being at home on my
own."
"With all due respect, Dr. Weaver, while you are a
doctor, you are injured. Last time I heard, you have several
steps to walk up to even get into your place. Why don't I
bring in the machine and set it up and give you a hand. Then
we're getting Doris to take you home by ambulance." Lydia
gave me a look that I would have been fool to ignore,
particularly on the last issue. Getting home on my own was
not going to be pleasant at all, no matter how you looked at
it. And I'd already checked at the fire station. Sandy was
out on assignment. I'd left a message for her to check in as
soon as she was able.
"Fine. Thank you." I lay my head back on the pillow and
closed my eyes.
No broken bones in the pelvis but they were going to be
seriously inflamed for quite some time. There were torn
ligaments surrounding the hip joint. And there was no
bleeding from the uterus. I released a breath I hadn't
realised I was holding until I saw that the foetus was fine.
Lydia discreetly left for a few moments and came back with a
chart for me to sign-off on before Doris came around to take
me home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two hours later, I was lying on the couch, with my back
propped up against the armrest. I was trying to figure out
the best possible way to figure out how to pay for increased
security measures. It was going to cost a lot of money that
we really didn't have to spare. Budget projections were
spread out on my lap and started to give me a headache.
There were few options to be had. Even if I took a cut in
pay, there'd still be thousands of dollars to cover. Finally
I decided that since John Carter wanted this bad enough to
stage a walkout and looking for more leadership experience,
I would give him that opportunity. Let him review the budget
and make some decision on where to get the money for
increased security measures. Give him a few options and give
him that decision. I would still have to review that
decision but it would be his to make. After another twenty
minutes had passed, the headache had not gotten any better
and I needed to take something more for the pain.
Gingerly I stood and winced as the pain ran up and down
my leg from my hip. My crutch in hand, I walked toward the
kitchen where I kept a supply of Ibuprofen. Stinky was
attached at the side since he got back. One of the kids from
the neighbourhood came by a couple times a day to walk the
dog. Several months since Stinky adopted me and I still
hadn't changed his name. Perhaps it had just grown on me as
much as he had. Sandy sure liked him. Played with him for
hours on the floor just throwing balls down the hardwood
floor. It had become a routine for both of them when she got
off shift. If she pulled a double or was stuck at work late,
he just sat by the front door and whined.
Thankfully the Ibuprofen was on the counter but the
glasses were still in the cabinet. In reaching for a glass,
I lost my balance and started to fall. Unfortunately for me,
I misjudged my distance from the counter and hit the side of
my head against the edge of it as I went down. That was the
last thing I remembered until I woke up sometime later with
a very worried ex-girlfriend standing over me and holding a
compress to my head. I tried to sit up and I got really
dizzy.
"Wow, Kerry. Just stay where you are. The ambulance is
coming in a few minutes."
"What happened?" I tried to get my bearings but my focus
was a bit off. Straight blonde hair. "Kim? What are you
doing here? Why are you here?"
"First off, I think you fell. There's a broken glass over
there, so I'm betting you were probably reaching for that
when you went down. You hit your head. There was a fair bit
of blood on the floor. Probably nicked a vein. Doesn't feel
like there's any skull fracture but you're going to the ER
to have it checked out and to have that cut sutured. There's
an ambulance that should be here shortly. Secondly, as for
what I'm doing here - I was in Chicago for a Psych
Conference. I decided to bring back some stuff of yours that
I still had. Closure, I think. I really didn't think you'd
be home, Kerry. I still had your key. Needed to bring that
back, too. When did you get a dog, Kerry?"
Still the same old Kim - could change topics in a blink
of an eye. But I was actually glad to see her. Not for
reasons some might expect. I held no notions that we would
ever get back together, and had long since abandoned those
notions. At the most I thought we might mend some fences and
work towards being friends, again. As Kim said, gain some
closure.
"Long story short - Stinky adopted me."
"Stinky?"
"He came in to the ER one day with his owner, an elderly,
diabetic blind man. He stuck around Dr. Gallant, one of our
med students - who happened to be allergic to him - for most
of the shift. When the patient passed away during that
shift, I was going to take him to the animal shelter when I
left. I ended up taking him back here. He's stayed and made
himself at home."
"Why's he whining at the front door?"
"He's waiting for Sandy to come home."
"Sandy?"
I was kind of hoping to ignore this bit of conversation.
Actually, I hadn't even expected that I ever would have this
conversation with Kim, after she left. "She's my partner."
"Oh." There was kind of a crest-fallen expression on
Kim's face. "How long?"
"Almost a year, give or take. There was a few weeks where
we'd split up, but we got back together." I smirked a
little. Kim looked at me questioningly. Not really sure why
I had told her that then, but small talk was never really
one of my strong suits, and silence was overwhelmingly
awkward. "Would you believe I asked her out, while I was
suturing up her hand? We'd been out in the field during a
storm. There were two ambulances out there and the fire
department. There'd been a car accident - pregnant woman
whose placenta had ruptured. En route, one of the ambulances
was hit by a fallen electric pole and was hot. Sandy was the
ranking firefighter at the scene. She kept telling me not to
go anywhere near that ambulance until the power crews could
cut power to the area. But the woman was bleeding badly, and
the EMTs for that ambulance were injured and out of the rig.
Someone had to help. That was me. So when she was attending
to something else, I ran towards the rig and jumped in.
Sandy was so furious with me that night. The next day she
came by a couple times through the shift on paramedic duty.
Finally she let me suture her hand up properly. And I asked
her out." I finally stopped talking, realising that I had
been babbling and that Kim probably didn't want to hear it.
"And?"
"She smiled and agreed. Gods, I was so nervous. I helped
save the woman's life and delivered the baby by emergency
C-Section in the rig. The OR did the remainder of the repair
once back at the hospital, but she and the baby would have
died if I hadn't done something."
I suppose I was rather fortunate that the ambulance crew
showed up at that moment. I ran out of things to say that
would be comfortable for either of us. Perhaps sometime in
the future. Doris opened the door and came in with a
stretcher. I was about to argue that I was fine and could
walk out before I remembered that I was in the predicament
that I was, because my balance was off with walking since
the accident earlier.
"Hey, Doctor Weaver. Long time, no see," Doris quipped.
She also nodded at Kim.
"Funny, Doris. Just get me up on this damn thing."
Doris and her partner got me up on the stretcher and
secured on there. Kim followed behind and got Stinky out of
the way. She gave him a few doggy biscuits from the package
on the kitchen counter. Once everyone had been settled in
the ambulance and I gave Doris the rundown about what
happened, Doris checked the wound, and applied a new bandage
replacing the bloodied one. Vitals were checked after that
and they ran through their checklist on the way to the
emergency department. The call was radioed into the ER. The
ambulance bay doors opened and we were ushered through. Abby
and Susan met us at the door.
"Kerry? What happened?" Susan asked.
"Kim?" Abby asked. "What are you doing here?"
"I lost my balance in the kitchen and fell, hitting my
head on the counter on the way down to the floor. Kim came
by to drop off some things and found me there."
"I heard about what happened earlier with your hip. You
okay?" Susan asked, concerned.
"Do I look okay?" I was kind of harsh. "Sorry. I'm sore
and I'm tired. You didn't need that. Could you just get me
some Ibuprofen. I was going for that when I fell."
"You don't want anything stronger? I'm sure you're
probably in a lot more pain than you're alluding to." Abby
noted the few grimaces I had made since I arrived. She
didn't realise that half of the grimacing was due to the
nausea I've felt. Though at this point, I wasn't sure if the
nausea was due to the concussion or from the pregnancy.
Quite likely from both.
"I shouldn't have anything stronger at the moment. Could
you also get me an emesis basin, please?" My arm went over
my stomach as a few more waves of nausea ran through me.
"Kerry?" Susan gently questioned my comment about the
strength of medication.
"I'm going to be sick." I really didn't want Kim to find
out right now about the pregnancy, and I saw that she wasn't
particularly going to go anywhere until she knew I was going
to be all right. An emesis basin was brought over and after
a couple minutes of retching and nothing but fluid coming
back, I lay back. That time, the grimacing was from pain.
Next to me, Susan was setting up a suture tray.
"Do you think the nausea has abated for a bit? I'll give
you an injection of Gravol if you'd like, then get you a
couple Naprosyn," Susan queried.
"Kerry, have you had anything to eat at all this
evening?" Abby asked, since there was nothing really of any
substance brought up in the emesis.
"A sandwich and coffee several hours ago. All right.
Gravol's fine."
"Okay. Abby will you get me 75mg of Gravol, and 500mg
Naprosyn?" Susan had everything set up and cleaned, then
placed the sterile suture sheet placed on my head. She'd put
in the anaesthetic to numb the skin and was finally
suturing. 12 stitches later, she was throwing out the
disposable items, needle in the sharps container and placing
the needle driver and scissors in the basin for
sterilization. Some steri-strips were applied over the
suturing and a couple of gauze bandages. During this, Kim
had followed Abby out into the corridor. I couldn't tell
what was happening out there.
Once I sat up, I could just see a few people in the
hallway. One of which was barrelling her way towards the
Observation room that I was in. Short stature, long, curly
dark brown hair tied back. Firefighter's coat. Yep. Sandy
had obviously found out what had happened. The door to the
room opened up. In came Sandy, followed by Kim and Abby.
Abby handed Susan the medication.
"Hey, Sandy. I'm glad your here."
"Kerry, what happened?" She came up by the head of the
bed, and gave me a kiss, not really caring that there were
three other women in the room. For that matter, I couldn't
have cared either. She was here. I had, however, heard a
slight gasp from someone, fairly easily guessing it was Kim.
"You heard." Not really a question but she nodded
slightly. "My Captain said you'd called earlier. Something
about an accident. You injured your hip. When I got here
tonight, I found out that you'd gone home, had a fall and
hit your head. Did you have a concussion?"
"Essentially, yes, to all of that."
"I wish I could have been here sooner. Stuck at a fire
across town in an abandoned building. We'd finally gotten
things under control an hour ago. Our crew left after the
next crew came in to finish the firefighting and check for
any flare-ups. I came right over after hearing from the Cap.
Who found you?"
"That would be me. Dr. Kim Legaspi."
"You're Kim?" Sandy looked at her and gritted her teeth a
little, but not saying anything further.
"Yes. I came to drop off some things for Kerry and found
her on the kitchen floor unconscious. Checked her out and
called EMS."
"Thank you," Sandy replied.
"Kerry, do you want that Gravol now?" Susan asked, as she
caught another grimace of nausea.
"Yes, please. Everyone but Susan and Sandy please get
out. I prefer not bearing my rear end to a room full of
people."
An injection of Gravol, and some Naprosyn later, I'm
rather tired and quite ready to fall asleep. Susan wants to
keep me overnight for observation, though I'm hesitant.
"Kerry, perhaps it's for the best. I've got tomorrow off.
I'll go home and check on Stinky and take him for his walk
then I'll be back." She gives me another kiss and looks down
the hall. "So that's Kim Legaspi, your ex?"
"Yeah. That's her."
"Kinda cute, but not my type," Sandy quips. Susan just
about choked behind us, obviously not expecting that. And
actually I'd kind of had forgotten she was still in here.
"Sandy..."
"Oh hush. You know you've got me. Now are you really okay
- everything?"
"Well, except for this whole morning sickness thing. The
ultrasound showed that everything was okay." I could feel my
eyelids heavy with sleep, so Sandy gave me one final kiss
before she mentioned she'd be back soon. When she opened the
door to the room, I caught just a bare snippet of
conversation from the hall.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the lesbian psych doc
returned from the great beyond. Heard you were out west
somewhere. Your ex has got a new girl now...from my point of
view, a lot hotter too." I could just imagine Romano
posturing there in the hallway, trying to goad Kim.
Only to be followed by a rather succinct pause and then a
low rumbling voice of Kim Legaspi. A sure-fire sign that she
was pissed. "The only thing keeping me from ripping off your
wad and shoving it down your throat is the knowledge that
the male species is on it's way to being extinct."
Quiet. Followed by a very familiar laugh. The last words
I heard from Sandy before I fell asleep were, "I think I
actually like her."
