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Atenshan! |
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| The European Commission has just announced an agreement where by
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
as "EuroEnglish". |
Year 1
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- In the first year, "s" will
replace the soft "c".
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Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
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- The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of the "k".
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This should klear
up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. |
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Year 2
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- There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f".
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This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter. |
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Year 3
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- In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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- Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and
they
should go away.
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Year 4
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- By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
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Year 5
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- During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
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After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understandech
ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!! |
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My Speak
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Click on the
logos to access some great English language resource tools.
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Online English dictionary with a
thesaurus & dream, computer and medical dictionaries. |
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All types of resources and great
word games and activities. |
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Perfect for the writer in you.
Great rules and examples for writing in English. |
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Wiktionary is linked to
encyclopedia and a host of other great resources. |
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Personal page of Dr. James Briggs
with great explanation of many idioms and sayings. |
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"Devoted to the origins of words
and phrases" |
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